The Birth Stone.

An alternative to the male semen has been found in Arklow, County Wicklow yesterday. It has proved to give a faster birth and no need to orgasm. It’s called “The Birth Stone”.

The stone’s spokeswoman, Fanny Mc Gee, said “All ya haf ta dooo, is ta shove i’ up yer pisser and den 9 minutes later ye give birth. The only problem is dat many of de women find breast feedin’ difficult with dis method of, ya know, makin’ babies. Oh yeah, after 9 minutes, ye give birth ta a baby stone, exactly the same size and shape as the one ya just shoved up.”

Visit www.shoveastoneupyourfanny.com or email iwantababy@shoveastoneupyourfanny.com for more information.